Shattered Dreams

We loved you from the very start, you stole our breath, you embraced our hopes and dreams.  You are a part of us sweet little one, and will live forever within our hearts.  Her name is Alaina Pearl.  Jesus calls her His angel.  She is also our angel, looking over us each day...Comforting her Mama and Daddy by blowing them sweet kisses each day. 

Life is so precious… grab it and hold on tight, never take anyone for granted as they can be taken from you in a heartbeat.  Tell them you love them every day. 

Why?  We asked that question over and over.  We still have no answer.  I feel like the harder I press for the answer the less likely it is to come. I guess time will tell, and maybe it won’t.  We struggle with the pain, the grief, the sorrow, and even anger for the unfairness of it all. I watch as my only child suffers mentally and physically…now she suffers a huge loss and has an empty spot in her big heart.  A spot that holds love for her baby and an over whelming sorrow that she is no longer here with us. I guess time and strength given through God will heal all that hurts.  But the memories never fade or go away.  Alaina came into this world quietly and left it with tiny angel wings.  She is loved.  She is precious.  She was our miracle. To love that precious little one is a love like no other.   It’s amazing how much you can love her when you never got to cuddle her in your arms, never got to look into her beautiful eyes, or see her precious smile as she giggled.

To lose someone you love is to alter your life forever…The pain weakens, there are others that come into your life, but the gap never closes…you never forget…The hole in your heart is the shape of the one you lost ~ no one else can fit in it.

Alaina sweet angel

I will visit with you in my dreams.  We will play together, read books, laugh and be silly and bake cookies.  I will love you forever and you will never be forgotten.  I will see you in heaven one day…Save a place for me.

Love, Your Grammie

Sometimes the things we cannot change…end up changing us~ 

 

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit

Psalm 34:18

Catching Up and Some Excitement

Gosh….I have missed being here!! So much as transpired since my computer went to its final resting place….now replaced with one that is more up-to-date and awesome. This 23” touchscreen is awesome! I’m back in the groove. As I told you in my last post, Mama fell and broke her hip…she is doing great now, having made it through a tough surgery and rehab, she is now walking with the aid of a walker…says she’s going to drive herself to an appointment next week…..guess we’ll see! God is good.

Now for the most awesome news of all…a miracle and a true blessing indeed!   My daughter, Holly, is pregnant!!! Yes, yes….I’m going to be a Grammie!!! Finally! We are all so excited!

Long story short…she and her hubby Richard were told they would not be able to conceive on their own, so after a few failed procedures; they caved, gave up and God blessed them! It’s all about His timing…right? Oh yes it is! Holly is right at 18 weeks along and will soon find out if we going to be buying pink or blue!

*insert huge smile and a giggle here*
I almost cannot contain my excitement! Their hopes and dreams were mine and now they are a reality for this family. Our first grandchild from an only child, a 10th great grand for my MIL and a 3rd great for my Mama and Daddy! Life is grand and great and most definitely 

What a wonderful Christmas it will be this year….with a due date of December 27th!

I will be staying busy from now until then….I have a rocker to paint and sew a pad for; I have bedding to sew for the antique cradle Jackie bought; and I have to sew a new high chair cover so that it will match Holly’s breakfast room. Plus I will have to throw in a few several trips to Jacksonville to see my growing daughter! Let the baby shopping begin!!!! *happy dancing*

Switching gears a bit…..I’m still saddened by the loss of my blogging friend, Char. I still cannot believe she is gone from us. She is truly missed and thought of often. Read one of my favorite posts by her, here~ A beautiful write with a beautiful imagination, which will carry you away. *I miss you my friend and fellow photographer*  Life is precious and fleeting, live it well, share it with others, and keep God in the mix…always! Build those memories...because sometimes that is all we are left with.  Quoting a friend of mine…"Took my grandsons fishing today. Caught nothing but memories."  How sweet is that?

I will be keeping you up to date as we stroll through the next 5 months, with our growing baby...as I know many of you can relate to this excitement with me. Until next time, which may be after a visit to Florida *heehee*... take care and blessings to you all.

Jumping Rainbows, Lassoing Dreams, and Wishing On Stars

...so says Cinderella.
Without my dreams and hopes, life seems rather dull. It’s like total boredom, never reaching for anything, never stepping out on that limb but always sitting at home on the couch…waiting.  Waiting for what?  Different desires come with age. My dreams are not the same as they used to be as some of those dreams have been fulfilled throughout the years.  I’ve strattled a few fences along the way…do I do this or do I do that, this way or that way?  I’ve fallen off only to get back up, put on my big girl panties, the pretty lacey ones, and move on again.
Standing at the intersection of life with 3 other ways to go, has been a test. Do I go straight ahead or turn to the left or to the right? As long as I didn’t come to a dead end, I was usually OK.
Looking ahead now the dream is looking at 59½.  I know there are those of you who know exactly what I am referring to and can relate…but for those of you who are way too young, let me explain: Retirement age…not that you cannot retire before then…but you cannot draw on your retirement funds you worked hard for until that age. Its part of that government control stuff you know. Oh they give you ways that you can get to your money with penalties and taxes, that way they still control your money while getting a chunk of it for themselves. So unlike Cinderella with her fairy godmother who is always watching out for her, I think I will just wait it out.

It sounds like I’m wishing my life away to get to that age…not so; it’s just the dream, brewing in its early stages that I cannot reach yet.
In the mean time I will jump a few rainbows, climb one or two and slide down the curve hoping to land softly in that pile of gold at the bottom. I will stand in the dark night gazing into the starry sky making wishes on every twinkle.  I will lasso the moon because I know that I can reach that far.  I will dance in the rain with my tongue hanging out to catch the sweet drops and taste the present moment. I will live in that moment; I will live in the right now.

My dreams come true

 Growing up

Dating

Being an artist…starving one but still one

Graduating high school

Going to college

Getting married

Working

Buying a house

Buying some land

Having a child

Being a Mama

Watching her walk and talk

Selling the house

Building our new home

Raising our child right

Still working

Building a nest egg

Watching her grow up

Sending her to college

Watching her walk the aisle to her love

Being happy and blessed

Retiring

Living well and comfortable, not money rich

My dreams of hope

Being a Grammie

Living long enough

Hubby retiring

Living in each moment

Traveling

Being healthy

Living easy

Spending that money I waited for

Helping and giving

Living in eternity one day

My dreams were/are pretty simple really…nothing fancy or wild, nothing out of the ordinary, just plain simple everyday typical things of life. I have been blessed.
I have made it through the rain…thus far. Sometimes I got drenched and caught a cold, sometimes I fell in the mud puddle instead of jumping over it or sometimes I simply enjoyed the coolness of it and sometimes I danced. And I know that it will continue to rain every now and then on my parade but it is up to me to decide if I will keep on dancing.

Notice how my future dream list is shorter….what’s up with that!?

Cinderella and I need to chat or either she needs to share her fairy godmother!

"Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you."

~Marsha Norman~

I hope that all your dreams come true!

Loving me some Adele on the playlist….

Being A Mama

I could have made this post about the 4 1/2 ft Timber Rattler that my hubby killed yesterday in our front yard...but I will spare you the details and the photos. 
Just thinking about it gives my the hibbie jibbies again.
Or I could make it about the storms last week again by letting you know that
Jackie and his crew from Pea River Electric Co-op made their way to north Alabama today to help with rebuilding power lines and restoring power to those who have been without since last week's tornados ravaged our state. 
We are slowly recovering with God's blessings and by helping each other.
But this is more like what my post should be about:
Mothers
 I’m feeling the spirit of Mother’s Day which is upon us. It is a special honor just to be called Mama, Momma, Mom, Mother…not everyone gets that miracle.  When doctor’s told me that I would never get pregnant…God gave me that special honor and privilege.  Without having had my daughter, I might not have ever been called Mama.  He trusted Holly into my care, my love, my teaching, and my nurturing...for me to raise His child.  This is probably the highest blessing He could have given me;

to feel and know a love like no other.
The love only a mother knows for a child.

Holly

I hope and pray that I did a good job as a Mother in His eyes and that He looks down on us and smiles.  I know I made mistakes, screwed up and did not make the right choices sometimes; there are times I wish I could go back and have a redo…but through it all He pulled me out of the ditch, wiped the slate clean and we started fresh from there each time.

 Holly and her love for kitties....

Baby Holly

 I look at Holly now, as an adult, and I see a beautiful child…I am pleased.  She makes me smile with joy.  It is my hope now that through her eyes she sees me as a good Mama, one who loves her unconditionally, one that she can be proud of, one that she respects, one that she can turn to at anytime and know that I will be there.  One that will not judge her.  
She told me once that I loved her too much…

Bahahaha….how can you love someone too much?

Holly and my Mama in New Orleans

And even though my own Mama and I do not see eye to eye sometimes… I still love her too.  I know that she is there for me.  Our disagreements allow me to challenge myself, to rethink things and situations.  Our differences allow me to look at my own life and reevaluate my choices, values, and morals.  I am more like my daddy, although we have our own differences and beliefs too.  Sometimes I think that maybe I was adopted!! Haha…just kidding.  I got my talents from Daddy and my Christian values from my Mama.  So for that…I thank them and the good Lord!

Holly and her hubby love~Richard

Holly's 25th Birthday

with her Daddy, his Mama, and My Mama

Holly and her grands!

Holly at the Hoover Dam Lake

Holly's most recent self portrait and a new hair cut!

Soooo cute!!

My Mama and one of my nieces

Mama

  

Holly gets her talents from me and her athletic abilities from her daddy.  What a mix!  A perfect one to me… *smiling*  I’m proud to be a Mama!  I’m proud to have had the chance to mother a child and in doing so I became a different person myself.  When you can give more to your child, always putting them before yourself, you begin to reconsider what is important in your life. Certain things do not matter anymore; other things get put on the back burner for later.  A child’s young years are fleeting; they escape us quickly, in the blink of our eyes. BUT…now that Holly is an adult child…I have a best friend, a buddy, and someone that can take me for what I truly am.  We understand each other; love the same things, places to go, and things to do.  

And we love to have fun!

She’s a little chunk of me! 

I’m a lucky blessed Mama!

Celebrating my Mama, my Mother-n-law, and being a Mama myself!
I hope and pray that Holly will have a chance to know and become a Mama herself one day...and we all know what that means...I'll be a Grammie!

Psst....I get to see Holly next week end!! YaY!

In Memory

…of a young friend, a beautiful energetic loving soul…a friend to my daughter Holly. They grew up together, played together, had sleepovers together, won athletic awards together, and had fun together. They were friends, buddies, team mates, and pals. Brittany was her name. Through years of playing softball, they became a team of two...when Holly pitched, Brittany caught behind the plate. My scrapbooks became filled with pages and pages of sweet youthful memories of the two of them.

Brittany grew to become a beautiful young woman. She was our Miss Ozark and went on to become The Miss National Peanut Queen.
Brittany was 24 when she lost her precious life in a tragic automobile accident last night which involved another mother who had had a seizure while driving, when they met face to face on the road. Hearts are breaking and hurting and crying out for some understanding.

Brittany was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend, a teacher and a mother. A mother to a 14 month old little boy named Shep. Brittany is with Jesus, seated at the foot of His throne in Heaven, holding Shep in her arms.

Shep was in the car with his Mommy last night.

Dear Lord please comfort these families in the loss of Brittany and Shep. They are hurting and breaking apart. They do not understand and are in utter shock and pain. Give them peace that only You can offer, give them rest in these weary days and nights ahead of them. If Heaven could possible get any better than it already is….it just did when it received these two sweet beautiful angels.

My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to Your word.

~Psalm 119:28

Please pray with me for the Shepard/Pugh, and Adams families.
The Adams children have lost their mother.  Life is just too short and sweet.

~The beautiful photographs found here were taken by Haiden Woodall, please visit her here.

May the Lord bless you and keep you,

and make His face to shine upon you
and give you peace.

Not Wanting to Let Go....

As they say… all good things must come to an end.

Sometimes I just want to take life and put it in a jar...hold onto it forever so I can pull it out and look at it again and again.  This wonderful holiday season came with laughter, tears, joy, happiness, bright shinys, warmth, ribbons and bows, family and friends, and lots of good food and fellowship. The reason for the season was felt, captured and cherished. Holidays come and go…family comes and goes…good food comes and goes…well… some of it stays on the hips after it passes by the lips!

None the less…everything has come to a screeching halt.

The house is quiet again…
But I hope happiness and love found you this Christmas and that it lingers on forever like the Christmas spirit in your heart which should never end but live within you always.

I know I have been missing-in-action through the past week or so and did not get to personally express my Christmas wishes for you…but just know; I did think of you often as I spent precious time with my family. I wanted to hold on to those moments so tight and not let them get away…well…reality set in and I came to my senses.
I let go…
Life is scattered in the living room ready to be cleaned up, put up, boxed up and readied for what the new year will bring. I know there will be challenges, big moves, happiness, sadness, new experiences, skinned knees and boo boos.

The circle has been made; 365/24’s have marched by like a parade, and we are all another year older and hopefully a wee bit wiser. I can look back on 2010 and honestly say it was better than 2009. I hold onto each memory I made, not wanting to let go but also wanting to welcome something new and fresh. I thanked God for each day that  was given to me as a gift, I accepted it when I woke each morning…I left it as a memory when I laid down to rest at the end.
I thanked God again.
Another circle will soon begin to form…the circle of life that sometimes will get out of shape and off course, but it will always make it around as time allows.
Some days I will not keep up…others I will see it through.

The circle of life…
Round and round we will go, like a carnival merry-go-round…we choose which ride we will take but sometimes we have to take the one that is left and make the best of it. To the end of this journey we have come, the music has stopped and we exit the ride, only to jump on for another round as it starts up again to begin anew…with hope, great expectations, dreams, sparkle, a song in our heart, and a purpose.

Keep it real and uncomplicated…be true to yourself with what ever life gives you, throws at you, is handed to you…Go With Faith and hang onto the Happy!

Wishing everyone the happiest New Year to come with many blessings.

Cora



Days of Blur

On my 23rd day of gratitude I was thankful for the busyness with my family. Boy am I tired! Now 5 days later and I am behind on my posting for each day…where does the time go…?
Day 24-27 I was busy counting my blessings and trying to shove a ton of things into a few hours. Did I fail at doing the 30 days of gratitude…?  No,  I just got caught up in life…with my family…so important too.

So to recap the last few days…it went something like this:

Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving~ we had my parents and niece over for a Low Country Shrimp Boil. For those of you who do not know what this is…It is awesome and involves some yummy shrimp! We had a sort-of Cajun Thanksgiving feast… outside on a beautiful day.

It’s a really simple shrimp boil with all the trimmings cooked in the same pot. Holly brought the shrimp fresh, straight from the Gulf of Mexico in Louisiana. Cooked along with the shrimp, were potatoes, sausage, corn on the cob, mushrooms, garlic, onions, lemons, spices and we even added raw peanuts. Once done we spread this whole concoction down the center of my picnic table…no plates, no forks…just lots of napkins. Yum~YuM~YumO! Clean up is easy and no dishes to wash….well almost. We also cooked some Portobello Mushroom Fries, hush puppies, and fried okra! That we had to clean up! Psst…the mushroom fries were to die for; thanks to the Neely’s recipe.
If you would like to try a Low Country Boil, visit Skip To My Lou for the step-by-step instructions.
Now do you believe we actually had dessert after that feast…yes we did! Let’s not even go there!

Richard and Holly

Thursday Thanksgiving Day~ the big bird was prepped Wednesday night, ready for the Big Easy* Thursday morning! Other items were readied to take to Nannie’s~ my husband’s mother. Most all of Jackie’s family was there, plus a lot of food! And yet again we pigged out and were stuffed…with more desserts too! The guys went hunting after a while and Holly and I made it home later that evening for a rest before hitting the shopping! Black Friday began at 12:01 am Friday! We set out at 11:30 pm Thursday…starting with Wal-Mart and Old Navy with only one purchase. We then waited for Kohl’s to open at 3:00am. Now this is where I found some good deals plus we had an additional percentage off the total purchase coupon! Love it! After the sun managed to come up through the light rain…we ate some breakfast at IHOP and boy was it hopping! I have never had to wait for a table at IHOP! Haha…so funny! After more shopping we finally made it back home at 10:30 Friday morning…no sleep since Wednesday night! Man-O-man! Can you say nap-time!!?? I don’t remember much after that………………except a big blur………

Friday-Black Friday~ see above, as these 2 days run together. More napping, Christmas movies, Oh and the much awaited famous football game between Alabama and Auburn, our state's two rivals, with undefeated Auburn taking the win 28-27! War Eagle and Roll Tide! I support them both.

Saturday~ we rose early for a trip to Panama City Florida to take Holly and Richard to the airport for their flight to Las Vegas to have an early Christmas with his sister and their whole family. Richard’s sister is in the Air Force and is being deployed the first part of December for Afghanistan with a medical team. We left home in time for them to be at the airport a good hour before flight time…only to arrive at the airport and it was closed down…yes closed-shut completely down. It looked like a ghost town! Not a soul in sight. It was the old airport…unbeknown to us, they had built another one on the other side of Panama City Beach… Have you ever done 80 mph in a 45 zone? Not a good idea! A reckless driving ticket kept coming to mind as we maneuvered through the traffic with Holly on the phone with her FIL as he tracked us all the way to the airport…mile by mile, road by road. We literally threw them out at the terminal door with their luggage and quick hugs with only 20 minutes until flight time… We left, but we did not go far. We pulled over on the exit and waited for the phone call and watched the plane taxi down the runway and take off with our children high in the sky! They made it! But their luggage was considered checked in late and they were told they may not get it until the next day! They connected in Houston TX and flew on to Las Vegas with no problems…luggage and all! Thank you Lord for being the pilot and using angel wings.

Jackie and I went for a ride to the beach, just a short distance down the road. It was a beautiful crisp cool day. We parked and took a walk on the beach…funny; I had never worn tennis shoes on the beach before!

After our walk we rode the “strip” as it has always been referred to, recalling many memories from high schools days and trips to the beach. Oh my! The motel where we always stayed was no longer there, a victim of a hurricane. But the old Goofy Golf and its animal structures were still in tact. It was a wonderful trip down that path through our memories. We had some lunch at Sharky’s, a blackened grouper sandwich and a shark attack platter!
Then home…Nap time again while attempting to watch another Christmas movie…another blurrrr.

Sunday~Today…all is well. I now know why God rested on the seventh day from all his work. Today is a day for praising, worshipping, and also for resting! Thank you! Now I just wish my Christmas decorations and tree would jump out and put themselves up! I also have to figure out how to keep some kitties from climbing that tree…hummmmmmmmm.

So for today this 28th day of 30 days of gratitude I am thankful for rest!

I hope every one of you had a beautiful and blessed

Thanksgiving with all the trimmings including lots of love.

*A Big Easy is an oil-less cooker that roasts with inferred heat.

Homemade Memories

How are you today?
I’m good…..busy yesterday creating in the kitchen. Creating with muscadines~ a grape of sorts from this part of the country…a southern grape. A way down south in Alabama grape.

 I picked ours for the first time. Our young vines finally produced enough for a picking, and jelly I did make. As I stirred the sugary mixture, the heavenly perfume roused my senses and brought back so many memories of my Grannie. I was with her, standing on a chair at the counter as she mashed those brownish green grapes through a strainer leaving only the splendid juices behind. From this juice she produced the most amazing golden jelly I have ever tasted.
I could always remember that taste…unlike any other. I have since purchase muscadine jelly at various country produce stores throughout the years. But…the taste was NEVER the same or just right. Nothing compared to the taste that Grannie always managed to achieve.

Yesterday those memories and taste buds danced around in my head as I took that first test taste. A smile swelled across my face, as I rolled the jelly around my tongue, with happiness gleaming through my eyes. Oh my…it tasted just like Grannie’s jelly, so many years ago. I did it.

There came a flood of thoughts and smells of her large country kitchen, double white porcelain sink with twin drain side boards, jars with lids popping as they sealed, sweet grapey aromas, and the promise of a homemade buttermilk biscuit to come. Granddaddy was never far away, ready for that biscuit too. Grannie was an excellent cook, a country cook, taught from her Grannie and mama on down the line. What a wonderful art to pass on… Thank you Grannie for spending time with me and letting me get under your feet in the kitchen.

Jackie, the hubs, helped with my stroll down memory lane last night. I had called him yesterday at work to let him know just how good the jelly was and he told me he would make some biscuits for supper. Happy dance. Now I know you are asking why I don’t just make them myself…You have never had one of his biscuits! The people he works with beg for them, fight over them. You see, he makes the best and takes them to work occasionally. They are so GOOD! He has mastered buttermilk biscuits!

I looked forward to last night’s supper all afternoon, and it was as wonderful as anticipated. Homemade buttermilk biscuits, bacon, grits with eggs,

and of course my fresh chilled jelly!

What I’m lovin’ today~

sweet jelly

homemade goodness

memories

standing underfoot

that sink

that smell

teaching that art

foodie photos

my strawberry napkins

Thank you for all the birthday wishes for Holly ….

now go bake some biscuits...you know you want some!